Vulnerability in (even) considering the question

It boggles my mind how hard it is for us to pause and objectively assess ourselves. I am certainly guilty of this.

It seems many of us are more comfortable considering the ways family or society expects us to be than really deeply considering our own identities, hopes and dreams. Peeling back the layers of outside expectations creates a vulnerability in realizing we are not entirely sure what rests in our core. Who am I, really? What do I really want? How can I be sure??

 Image

Until this spring I never appreciated how strange I am for spending so much of my energy living these questions (I devote an insane amount of my mental energy lingering here!). Teaching an undergraduate career exploration class this semester only solidified my belief that while these concepts are difficult to engage with fully, they are absolutely essential to personal and professional success… and more importantly, happiness. And this takes hard work. Lesson learned: Thinking about who we are, who we want to be, and the life we want to live is harder than I realized.

In my class I had the students develop a presentation to explain their personal definition of “meaningful work”. I asked them to explore the forces and people that have influenced how they think about meaningful work and share their perspectives with the class. While I expected it would take them some serious reflection time, I was surprised when many of them confessed that they had never really considered what meaningful work was, or could be. Many of my students are first-generation college students who have been fiercely dedicated to their goal of just getting to college. This has required their complete attention. But this simple truth only fuels my fire to nurture those sparks that lie within them.

It is a privilege to have the opportunity to deeply consider one’s identity and life aspirations. So few of us have a choice about how we spend our days. This is part of what drives me to support all students, but especially those who are lost, as they engage in questions of what their personal and professional purpose might be. My drive to support them in mindfully finding a fruitful way forward is grounded not only my desire to help this one student, but also in my hope that this student can maximize their privilege to unleash their greatest gifts to meet the deepest needs of our world. What a richer world it would be if more people had the privilege of intentionally choosing the work they will take up in their lifetime.

For today I do not have answers about how to push for more focused consideration of these deep career questions, but I take away a need to temper my drive and better respect the vulnerability, space, time, and natural rhythm that all must come together for glimpses of an individual’s deepest passions to shimmer though the noise and distraction of daily life. Praying for the gift of patient persistence to (carefully, mindfully, respectfully, and responsibly) push for more…

 

Image source: http://delvespot.com/2013/01/why-and-how-im-being-more-vulnerable/

Open hands, warm heart.

This simple intention, “open hands, warm heart,” is helping me weather the storms of graduate school more than any other thing – coffee included! Today I am thinking about those moments in my life when I so desperately want a certain outcome, like a particular internship or job, and how much fear is embedded in my desire for that “perfect” outcome.

Intention_4.15.13

This intention reminds me not to operate from a place of scarcity and fear, but to try to trust in the abundance of life. This is especially hard during times of transition and change, but it is then that it is most important, of course.

“Open hands, warm heart” invites me to be open to the grace and gifts in the process – whatever they may be – and to do this with a warm and trusting heart. Trusting that I will be okay no matter the outcome can be liberating. It is precisely in that letting go of control when I see my strength most fully.

Now let me pause for a moment to reiterate that this is my intention for the week. Meaning I am practicing, not perfect. I am still far more likely to go to my place of fear than breathing in feelings of peace and abundance in those moments. Human nature, I suppose. However, having this intention by my side reminds me to gently lean in to a more kind and generous self-talk. It helps me practice nonviolence towards myself.

In the end, this intention fosters in me more peace and opens me to receive big opportunities and also the small moments that I may miss when the fear is all consuming. Off we go: “Open hands, warm heart.”

 

 Special thanks to my dear friend, Sarah, for introducing me to this framework for inviting more grace into my life. Blessings to you.