At first glance, the idea of scheduling rest seems worthy. Yet in my case, it is far more likely to be a harbinger of burnout on the horizon. Let me explain why…
This year has been a wild ride of hard work, difficult days, and an overabundance of blessings. Since finishing graduate school, landing a job I love, moving across country, and buying our first house (phewf!) – I have been hyper aware of the multitude of things that “need” my attention.
Overcome with the blessings in my life, I have been fixated on honoring them to the fullest by working harder and harder to make things click at work, home, and in my relationships. Why? I do this all so that I can feel at peace and open to all the grace in my life. (This is also a major downside to having “responsibility” as one of my StrengthFinder strengths).
So I have been scrambling for the last several months. Got it. This is how so many of us live.
Well the trouble is that tonight is Tuesday, yoga night, and I am not there.
This happens to me. I “schedule” my downtime (responsibility) but when it comes time to rest and renew I am not up to it. I get so worried about everything I think I should be doing (one responsibility competing with another) that the fleeting thought of doing something kind for myself (yoga) falls victim to my never-ending to-do list of things I’m stressed about getting done.
This all has me wondering: How often are productivity systems just ways of hiding from our worries or our fears?
I recently spent a good deal of time tinkering with some new ways to streamline my to do lists at home and at work.
That’s all nice, and I value organization, but if I critically look at the lists I see my worries and fears jumping out at me:
- Will we be happy in this house?
- What will we eat this week and how can I handle all the prep?
- Are we saving enough?
- What really are my passions and interests?
- Am I good at my job? Is this really what I am meant to do?
- Are we living in accordance with our values?
How do I know my productivity systems are masking my worries? Capturing my “should do” or “ought to do” items in a list doesn’t simplify anything. I’m still not at yoga tonight. If I said yoga was important, and I scheduled it, it should happen. Something else is going on.
What if the simplest way to simplify isn’t to work tirelessly to capture and do it all? What if it actually lies in looking at the questions and worries driving all these tasks to see how they align with my real priorities?
You won’t get any answers from me tonight. Just an invitation to ponder the questions behind your “to-dos” and explore the ways they may be challenging your priorities, values, and your deep desire for peace in your life.
- What might it look like to re-invent your to-do list so that it honors, but does not mask, your worries and fears?
- So that it clarifies and affirms your priorities?
- So that it puts your responsibility for taking care of your needs, hopes, and passions first?